It was the night before race submission and I had finished 2 pinewood derby cars for my two older boys, or at least I thought so, when suddenly something prompted to check the car specification guidelines once more…
And there it was one of the cars was over the width limit by 2mm. Then I thought I’d just give the weight a test just to be sure and to my horror it was also 1/2 an ounce overweight.
How could this be I thought? Then I realised that I might have earlier weighed the car in a manner which gave me a different reading, since the car’s weight was off balance towards one end.
So I started with the alignment and then it was done. Then I thought how about if I chip away some wood from under the car to help it loose some weight and I started on that.
I had just about finished carving a boxed section from the underneath when I lifted it and one of the main decorative accessories dropped off! Ok the more I made modification, the more damages happened in other areas. I fixed the accessory and then realised my hands had accidentally shifted the wheel alignments again.
I thought to myself, it’s getting better late but I have to do it for my son. This was my second son’s car. I thought to myself, how interesting that the car and this son had so much parallel; both gave so many problems in so many areas of behaviour; both didn’t seem to want to cooperate; both had trouble getting to meet a certain specification or standard…
So I was doing all I could to make it work for the car and my son! As fast as possible! If I couldn’t get the car to meet specifications, the car could not enter the race and he’d be disappointed.
It was at that point I realised the frailty and imperfections we have as parents, or rather, I have as a dad. We try so hard to fix our kids. We want them to be good. We want them to be hardworking. And we do all we can for them. “It’s for their own good”, we say. “I just want them to have the best”.
But the moment we get one area of their life fixed, one struggle finally overcome, one difficulty met with success, we come up with another area that, like the car, that either we neglected or mishandled.
I think it is the reality, we focus so much on their studies they neglect church service, or focus too much on church service we neglect family life, or we focus on family life but did not give opportunity for them to make friends, or allow them to make friends and overlooked good behavior. And we have not even put the child’s temperament into the equation. It goes on and on, you get the point.
To achieve balance in all areas in a child’s life is so extremely difficult. Mental-spiritual-social balance, or a work-play-family balance… I think I know one or two parents who do that but if I really scrutinise, I can find some area they’ve overlooked.
Really the only one who can make this come together for a child is God the Father. We try all kinds of techniques to fill the lack in their lives, or to help them overcome certain habits, or to have success in difficulties they face, but the moment we focus on one area, like the car, something else goes on. We are just not “car” professionals. We are just not child professionals. That is when I realised God revealing a truth to me.
That God, in His perfect, loving and divine character has PATIENCE. A holy and pure and perfect PATIENCE.
His patience with us gives Him the perfect timing and ability to deal with every area of our life, every shortcoming, and meet all the “specifications” correctly, without neglecting or overseeing all the other aspects of our life. THAT is something no one on earth can do.
The LORD will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O LORD, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of Your hands. (Psalms 138:8 NKJV)
Blessed Father’s Day.
~~~
Shortened Version
Working on the Derby car has thought me a lesson. When I was working to perfect one area of the car I may have neglected or accidentally damaged another part.
For example, while trying to chip away the wood I made the decoration drop off. Or while I was trying to glue the axle I accidentally glued the wheel as well. Or while I was adding glue and paint, I didn’t realise that I was adding weight to the car to make it overweight.
I think this reflects our parenting as human fathers. The moment we try to perfect one area of our child’s life, we either neglect, or worse, damage another area of our child’s life.
We focus so much on their studies that we neglect their spiritual life. We focus too much on correcting behaviour we forget to love them. We try to fill a certain lack in their lives or to overcome a habit, and we neglect their overall wellbeing. Just as we are not “car” professionals, we just are not child professionals.
That is when I realised God revealing a truth to me. Really the only one who can make this all come together for a child is God the Father. That God, in His loving character has a type of PATIENCE that is perfect PATIENCE.
His patience with us gives Him the perfect timing and ability to deal with every area of our life, every shortcoming, and meet all the “specifications” correctly, without neglecting or overseeing all the other aspects of our life. THAT is something no one on earth can do.
The LORD will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O LORD, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of Your hands. (Psalms 138:8 NKJV)
Blessed Father’s Day.
—
The LORD will work out his plans for my life— for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me. (Psalms 138:8 NLT)
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