AN ALTERNATIVE
In a series of conversations with some Christians, it surprised me they weren’t utterly convinced that it isn’t God’s way to live in and not be married. I’m not sure if the issue was a lack of conviction or they were simply opting for that lifestyle.
So I felt led to present a Biblical response that would be easy to digest and not be judgmental at the same time.
At first, I thought popularism and secular culture has made cohabitation a natural progression from a relationship but the observation I made in reality was that it didn’t seem to them to be just a natural progression from a relationship but an alternative to marriage.
It’s interesting that when you type “cohabitation” in google search, the bulk of the auto responses appear as “cohabitation vs. marriage”. In the Biblical sense, the two don’t even come close!
THE PARODY…
I thought the best way to answer the idea of cohabitation is to lead the discussion in the way they were thinking of and presenting it.
If cohabitation was THE way God intended (or even one of the ways to go), this would have been how Hebrews 13:4 would have read: “Cohabitation should be honored by all, and the cohabitation bed kept pure, for God will judge the faithful and all the sexually moral.“
Or in Genesis: “For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, cohabiting and giving into cohabitation.“
Or Jeremiah 29:4-6: “This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: ‘Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Cohabitate and have sons and daughters; find girlfriends (not wives) for your sons and give your daughters to cohabitate with other men, so that they too may have sons and daughters.’“
A parody of Romans 7:2 will read: “For example, by law a cohabiting woman is bound to her boyfriend as long as he is alive, but if her boyfriend dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him.“
And 1 Corinthians 7:10: “To the cohabiting I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A female partner must not separate from her male partner!“
We laugh at these parodies because it’s so obvious that the use of the word in the Bible context is so out-of-place. Cohabitation is often self-centred (on the couple) and has no room for offspring. Cohabitation has no honour. It certainly has no life commitment! You take God out of the marriage equation, you have cohabitation.
We laugh at these parodies because it’s so obvious that the use of the word in the Bible context is so out-of-place. Cohabitation is often self-centred (on the couple) and has no room for offspring. Cohabitation has no honour. It certainly has no life commitment! You take God out of the marriage equation, you have cohabitation.
THE PERFECT EXAMPLE
Marriage was the example chosen to illustrate the wondrous relationship between us and God. Marriage was also a SACRED institution created by God, keyword being sacred.
Since the perfect example of a marriage is found in the Bible where Jesus is to marry the church as His bride, it would lead me to think of cohabitation as a distorted view of marriage.
Since the perfect example of a marriage is found in the Bible where Jesus is to marry the church as His bride, it would lead me to think of cohabitation as a distorted view of marriage.
Imagine if Jesus said, “You know, divorce is so common today, let’s try to “live in” to see if we’re compatible before getting married…” NO ! Jesus has fully committed to us His church and as individuals even now, even in our sins, faults and weaknesses.
You see, if we really placed marriage in the position and context that it is meant to be, cohabitation cannot be an alternative. And the rightful place for marriage is in sacredness.
GOD’S DESIGN
A cohabitation arrangement will not pronounce you man and wife… Till death to us part… In good times or bad… Be fruitful and multiply… And really it boils down to God being in the relationship, because in a cohabitation ceremony we will certainly not hear the words, “what God has put together let no man put asunder!” It was never God’s design for a man and woman to be loosely committed to one another.
To those contemplating or even in cohabitation:
Please honestly ask yourselves “Why am I really cohabitating”? Am I doing it as an alternative to marriage? Am I just trying to justify and compromise my own moral dilemma? Am I fooling myself and my partner? We have all seen when being dishonest and fooling ourselves will lead to. Either one party will get hurt or we end up in depression and loss. I pray and hope you can carry through your situation and find the revelation without judgment and hurt.
Please honestly ask yourselves “Why am I really cohabitating”? Am I doing it as an alternative to marriage? Am I just trying to justify and compromise my own moral dilemma? Am I fooling myself and my partner? We have all seen when being dishonest and fooling ourselves will lead to. Either one party will get hurt or we end up in depression and loss. I pray and hope you can carry through your situation and find the revelation without judgment and hurt.
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Tags: cohabitation, marriage
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